Bishop's Blog

Here’s a relationship question that came in that I wanted to address -

I was listening to your show the other day about advice from men to single ladies waiting to be found…I have experienced just recently, alot of men coming at me telling me they love me or I’m the one for them, etc. Now I just got out of a relationship that he told me the same things and I believed him though it was all lies. After talking to these individuals a little while they start trying to talk about sex. Now my question is….Would sex be a topic for conversation when getting to know someone? I ask because it seems to be a topic that comes up with every man that has approached [me]. Would a serious man of God bring that up in a conversation or is it he probably has an alternative motive?

GREAT QUESTION!!! Generally, for Christians, sex shouldn’t be a discussion that’s had too early in the early stages of getting to know someone, ESPECIALLY in the first 90 days when you’re still in the “ecstasy” stage of a relationship, which means your mind is not able to distinguish things properly because you are still in the stage of thinking everything smells and is good. If someone brings sex up early in discussions, it’s revealing a motive to you. Unfortunately, many times in the Body of Christ we don’t talk about dating and relationships and answer questions like this and so people are unprepared to handle issues like this…

The key in dating and relationships is to pray and ask the Lord for discernment AND that when God shows you something you PAY ATTENTION. There are many times the Lord will show you something, but you may not be willing to pay attention to it. If the Lord allows you to keep being confronted with the same thing, it could mean that somehow there’s some lesson that still needs to be learned so you don’t have to keep repeating the same test.

Here’s a golden key - when dating, LET THE OTHER PERSON TALK!!! Don’t be so quick to do all of the talking, let them reveal what’s really inside of them and they will!

If you are at a place of making some permanent decisions concerning your relationship, here are some thoughts to consider. Don’t stop here, visit our online bookstore and get your hands on teaching resources for relationships as well. Also listen to our online radio show for the many shows about relationships as well. 

Divorce can be tough for everyone involved. It’s a permanent separation of two spirits, two souls, two families, etc. Don’t always see divorce as the first option unless there is physical or verbal abuse involved, or irreconcilable adultery. In no circumstance should abuse ever be tolerated. Many times people know early in a marriage whether or not the marriage will work.

If there is constant bickering about things that don’t matter, that is a red flag that there are deeper issues brewing. If a couple has violence, either physically or verbally, early on or at any time, that is a red flag. If there is obvious disapproval from either family, don’t just brush it off… ask yourself why everyone doesn’t like them and start investigating the matter. 

Before resorting to divorce, be sure that you’ve done everything you could have to see the relationship work. Have you prayed together? Have you fasted together? Are the issues you want to divorce over something that you can live with? Are you reacting out of  pure emotion? Is the husband submitted to his pastor? If not, there’s no way he can be an effective spiritual leader because it’s contrary to the order of God. Are you just being selfish? Did God tell you all to marry in the first place or was it your own doing? If you find that there is no other option but divorce, use wisdom.

Talk with your pastor and take it one step at a time. Don’t worry about trying to get even with the other person, but stay in prayer. In a divorce, seek wise legal counsel and keep unnecessary parties out of it. Most importantly, don’t think that the “Christian” thing to do is be a doormat. Sometimes relationships that do need to end are prolonged for the wrong reasons. Generally speaking, relationships that continue for the sake of children or for financial reasons are already over, the couple just doesn’t know it yet. Many times staying in a bad relationship can be more damaging for children than a divorce. Children are incredibly resilient and can bounce back much more quickly than adults. Staying together for money is putting your trust in things and not in God. God is your source and never a man or a woman.

The Bible teaches that “death and life are in the power of the tongue” in Proverbs 18:21 and that Christ is the “High Priest of our confession” in Hebrews 4:14. Many times what we attribute to “the devil” is not really him at all. Instead, you are eating the fruit of negative confessions. Your words are spirits that will either bring life or death. Speaking and declaring the word or every aspect of your life on a daily basis is critical because the Word teaches in Proverbs 6:2 that “you are snared by the words of your own mouth.” Your tongue is a powerful weapon that must be used to usher in the things that God has ordained for your life. This section of our website will be updated often to provide you with Bible based daily confessions that you should speak and declare at least once each day. You can even print them out and share them with your friends, family members and co-workers. Notice that the confessions are in PRESENT tense. The tense in which you declare a thing is crucial because if you are always future tense oriented, nothing will ever manifest today! 

Remember this - you are today, what you spoke yesterday! 

Confession Prior to Receiving the Word
This is my bible, it is the living word of God. My mind is renewed and my spirit is prepared to receive the word, which produces faith and faith pleases God. I’m not just a hearer of the word, I’m a doer of the word. This word has given me life and life more abundantly. I am in my promised land.

Single Person Seeking a Spouse
Father, in the name of Jesus, I declare by faith that I am attracting the man/woman that you have ordained for my life. I believe and therefore I receive a person of character, faith, integrity, internal and external beauty. I declare that we are created for one another. We love one another and we are not distracted by circumstances, issues, or opinions. We are connected spiritually. The wife to be submits to the husband and the husband loves her as Christ loves the Church. Our families connect well and our goals align. We complement one another and cover each other’s weaknesses. We are the perfect team. While I am waiting, I declare that I am strong and equipped not to fornicate or involve myself with anything that would not represent You well. It is so, in Jesus’ name. Amen!

Confession Over Your Husband
Father, in the name of Jesus, I declare by faith that my husband is a mighty man of valor. He is submitted to You and to the spiritual father that you’ve ordained for his life. He is loving, affectionate, kind and a model of what a husband should be. I declare that his self esteem is lifted and that you teach and show me how to love him. He is a good provider and a mighty man of valor. He serves You with all of his heart, mind, and strength and is an incredible leader. He is not abusive in any way and in fact is my greatest supporter. He is a man of faith and of constant prayer. It is so, in Jesus’ name. Amen!

Confession Over Your Wife
Father, in the name of Jesus, I declare by faith that my wife is a woman of excellence and character. She submits to me and we are one. I know how to love her effectively and to bring the best out of her. (If applicable) She is a wonderful mother and an excellent wife. I declare that she loves and serves you with all of her heart, mind and strength. She brings out the best in me and I in her. She manages the affairs of the household well and is a model wife. When I am weak, she is strong. She doesn’t tear me down, she builds me up. She is wise, studious and successful in her own right. We are the perfect team. It is so, in Jesus’ name. Amen!

Confession Over Your Children
Father, in the name of Jesus, I declare by faith that my children shall serve You all the days of their lives. They will break every curse that the generations before them did not and walk in the fullness of the blessing every day of their lives. What stopped me in the past, shall not come near them. I declare that they have excellent friends that challenge them to be better and not to settle for less that what’s been ordained by You. They are smart and it reflects in their grades. Scholarships and favor track them down. They will not part from You in their life and will find a spouse that serves You.

Confession Over Your Finances
Father, in the name of Jesus, I declare by faith that my finances are in order. You secured that I would walk in the blessing on Calvary and because of that I have an everlasting covenant with You. Everyday I see financial increase. There is no lack. Everyday in the Kingdom, is a day of progress and increase. Since I give my tithes, offering and first fruits according to Your word, I am guaranteed a harvest. Everything that I lost in the past due to mismanagement and bad decisions, I declare that it shall return unto me one hundred fold according to Your word in Mark 10:27-31. I don’t make bad financial decisions nor am I so materialistic that debt consumes me. I am increase. I am choosing the blessing, this day! Debts that I do owe are being released. I have excellent credit. It is so. In Jesus’ name. Amen!

Isaiah 43:26 Put Me in remembrance [remind Me of your merits]; let us plead and argue together. Set forth your case, that you may be justified (proved right).

When you pray for something once, God heard you and He answers you. You must then stand on His word by putting Him in remembrance of what it is that He’s promised you and what it is that you’ve prayed for. It’s not that God forgets, but you must be diligent and consistent.

You don’t have to pray for things more than once. Once you pray, you then thank God for what it is that you’ve prayed for by reminding Him of His Word to you. That’s what Jesus means when He says to knock and keep on knocking. The first knock is to establish the fact that you’re there. Every knock after that is a reminder, not an introduction. To pray from something more than once is unbelief. You pray once and everyday thereafter you thank God for it.

What does standing on God’s Word mean? It means that you send a reminder to the heavens and to every enemy that God will come through and if He said it, you must believe it, and that settles it.

Job 1:20 Then Job arose and rent his robe and shaved his head and fell down upon the ground and worshiped.

When things don’t go according to your plan, what is your first response? Do you pick up the phone and call your friends or do you call on God? Most everyone is familiar with the story of Job. The story of Job is so great because at some point in life, we can all relate to what Job went through. Job was able to be trusted with trouble. God never trusts you with trouble unless He has a far greater place of blessing in store for you.

Trouble is a bridge to get you from one place in life to the next. Job’s first response to the last messenger that came telling him that his life was in shambles, was to fall to his knees and worship. Our first response must be the same. It’s easy to get mad and angry when things go wrong, but that won’t get you anywhere. What’s the difference between Christians and non-believers? The way we respond to trouble.

We respond with worship because we know that if we’re in a trial, it’s because God has a place of promotion for us at the end of it.